::05242013::
prompt-your top three worst traits:
Do I really want to share this?
One:: I ignore things. I mean absolutely ignore things. I do this with all sorts of things - in my mind if I just ignore it, I just think it will go away. If I ignore conflict, maybe things will blow over and things will get better. If I don't open mail, maybe it will just go away. If I ignore bad news, maybe it never happened. If you ask me to do something I don't want to, maybe I won't have to if I just ignore it long enough. It's a form of severe denial, I've always been like this - it also leads to procrastination. It also causes very small manageable problems to become enormous out of control infectious problems that I usually can't seem to deal with on my own. In my own defense, I at least now recognize I do this, I've only noticed this in the last year or so.... but I've been like this all my life.
Two:: Compartmentalization. I'm really really good at ignoring things because I compartmentalize really well. About 80% of the time - sometimes I can't get it together. Now that I'm reading back through this I seem completely neurotic... so take this with a grain of salt, I'm just being honest here - it says WORST TRAITS! When I'm at work - I have my work hat on, all business, very professional. If I'm having a personal problem or something going on with my family, I can keep it tucked away with my professional face on - there's no crying in baseball. Also if I really dislike you, I mean borderline hate you, I can sit right next to you, make small talk - ask about your family, your job, hobbies, have one hell of a great time - but don't be fooled, we are not friends.
Three:: I am not the best listener... ok that's a lie, I'm a terrible listener. I can be a good listener, when I focus and concentrate on listening, like during a personal face to face conversation. But on the phone, absolutely not - we could talk for five minutes or an hour and there's a pretty good chance I won't remember any of it. Also in passing conversation I won't remember anything we talk about - it's not because I don't want to hear what you have to say, it's just because I'm incredibly visual so other things are distracting me...very distracting. I can listen while taking notes, or watching a presentation but not just listening alone - absolutely won't happen. It's strange because if I read the information, I can remember it verbatim forever...but if you read it to me, you might as well be talking to a wall. Your secrets are safe with me.
Honestly I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to admit these things, a year or two ago I wouldn't have been able to come up with anything. I would call that some serious personal growth!
Always, J ♥
